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Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers

Wondering why dogs don’t use computers like us humans? ….well here are a few reasons why:

20. Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’95.

19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.

18. Hard to read the monitor with your head
cocked to one side.

17. Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.

16. Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear
“You’ve Got Mail.”

15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.

14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re
browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.

13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that JPEG frisbee.

12. Not at all fooled by Dogmore Screen Saver.

11. Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that
signifies tail-wagging.

10. Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the
Microsoft OpposableThumb.

9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome

8. ‘Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…

7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice
recognition software.

6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.

5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK
are out of the question!

4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.

3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.

2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than
online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don’t Use Computers…

1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE
WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *

*Courtesy of the David Letterman Show

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One Response to Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don’t Use Computers

  1. Erik Ma says:

    Very funny. Somewhat weird that #1 was so easy to read.

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