The following is a guest post from Ashley Spade. Ashley, in addition to being Sir Winston Pugsalot the First’s favorite human, is a blogger and law student. She volunteers at her local pug rescue in between studying and training for triathlons (sometimes at the same time).
If you’ve been to college or any sort of school, you are well aware of how expensive textbooks are. Whether they are hefty tomes regarding antitrust litigation or slim study guides, you better be prepared to hand over the plastic at the bookstore register and pray your bank account holds up after. You can sell them back, sure, but for a far less amount than what you paid. You know who doesn’t care a single bit about that and lives blissfully among your various belongings in a charmed life where they are only expected to fetch, look cute, and exist? That’s right, your dog.
And mine is no exception. Sir Winston Pugsalot the First aka Sir WP as introduced to you in my first article, could not give a single doggie hoot about my law school books. Which he did not hesitate to make evident. Some may say it was my fault, some might say it was Sir WP’s conniving mischief, but either way, it was quite an expensive afternoon. I’ll tell you the story and let you decide.
It was raining. Therefore, Sir WP did not get his usual morning walk and was in a snit about it. How do I know when he’s miffed? He noses around where I am sitting studying, and, when I reach out to pet him, he walks out of arm’s reach. People who say dogs aren’t clever or have no emotions are completely ridiculous and have never lived with a dog. Finally, annoyed, I went to my bedroom to study and shut the door, so Sir WP was left to fend for himself. What? It’s not as if he isn’t spoiled, with every chew toy and rawhide possible. He’s perfectly capable of entertaining himself while I read case briefs.
Between the soft pitter pattering sound of rain and laying on my bed reading long belabored descriptions of cases I could not focus on, I fell asleep. Two hours later, I awoke to mayhem. For starters, the corner of my bedroom door was chewed/splintered. Somehow Sir WP had managed to knock the door askew so he could push it open (to this day, I have no idea how he did this without injury). Once inside, he went to town on everything within paw’s reach. Not just eating or chewing, as normal dogs are wont to do, no, Sir WP had to go all out. He peed on my case briefs, ate off the entire corner of one of my 8000 page study books, chewed up every pen or pencil within his little pug reach (my carpet is still faintly inkstained), and even hopped up on the bed and scratched several pages out of a few of the more expensive books.
After surveying the mess, I looked at Sir WP, just sitting calmly on my floor, looking very proud of what he had done. You can’t get angry at a face like that. I was reminded of that line from Anchorman when Ron Burgundy discovers his dog Baxter has eaten everything from the fridge: “I’m not even mad, that’s amazing!”